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Knutson stopped swimming a year ago to seek treatment for an eating disorder that she feared might kill her. She dropped out this month because her familyรขโฌโขs savings were being siphoned by her medical bills and her college tuition. After losing her USA Swimming stipend, Knutson said, she did not have the money to finance her comeback.
Compounding the financial stress was the pressure she felt in the pool to meet everybodyรขโฌโขs great expectations, a burden she shouldered throughout her teenage years, when she was a world champion and held an American record.
รขโฌลSometimes when I look back at myself in high school, and the years I had the most success, I donรขโฌโขt want to say I was clinically depressed, but I wasnรขโฌโขt genuinely happy,รขโฌย Knutson said. รขโฌลI look back now and I feel like I have to be like that to be good because thatรขโฌโขs what worked at the time, and I donรขโฌโขt want to be that person.รขโฌย
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